another year has come by.

the last day of the year 2008, i had spent it like other ordinary day, though i had decided to take supper to fatten my already flabby arms, round abdomen, so what. those "what if i gain weight" kind of thought just had to stay aside first. stomach always come first.

no spraying,

no celebration,

no shouting out loud at the top of my lung to anyone " happy new year, and may god bless you loads this year"

it was a plain some quality time i spent with myself.

nothing fancy, just let the pictures ran through my mind, ran wild about how the year 2008 had passed so swiftly.

i thought about how things started, right after the first posting in semester 8, this unforeseen circumstances hit me like mad,

first time seeing my dad in the ICU. i thought of my mum, my super big sister, my funny 2nd sister, and my determined young brother.

when i played the song " Kc-and Jojo, all my life", i thought of shixian, and i knew i missed her terribly, for i used to have her everytime when i felt miserable. for she is one of the few people that opens her heart to all people, to all regardless.

and i thought of my housemate, Cheng Khuang, for what she had told me over the phone last week. the things she told me, still stunned me, for her genuine and sincerity which i hardly see in seremban.

and i thought of Wan, who had repeated told me that if she was not to get married, she would serve at Mercy, for more people to benefit of what she could have offered.

many of us, when thought of becoming doctors, fame, reputation, money always stain our brain. hardly anyone, who could so genuinely tell people that they are here to help.

when i told him, i would only specialize when i think it will help more people. i dont wish to be part of a rat race, following what people have pursued so i could stand out as one of the greatest. i hope i wont change. i pray i will keep this promise with me, who knows i will change, but at this moment, i am glad i have this small thought in my mind.

i thought of what a semester i had gone through. i had thought of DS, who repeatedly told us, is that how you used your patients to practice and not contribute anything? i dont know, of all the things he had preached me, this echoed in my brain rather loud.

and what Prof Delikan had said. "we treat our patients as a fellow human being, not who he is or who he knows."

and when i played the "bad day", i thought of Moky, my once Makan-Kaki. he may have sounded so "dont care a thing", he had always had his heart for his patients.

and after my mind went really wild, i thought to myself, how could i not think of him. i guess, all this while, i had not talked to him about how i felt, what dreams were like, how terribly i had done for this semester, and how and..stuff. for he always seemed to have a bigger problem than me, for he had always been so negative that everything was no possible.

but still, he is one of the best friend i have. and i do appreciate him a lot. as best friend.

guess, nowadays my immune system isnt doing so well. coz i am rather allergic to fakers.