i miss dad pretty much, i have stopped crying for dad's condition until yesterday when i found out from sister that he didn't seem to be okay.



i didn't know how dad would be reacting to his own dilemma, we had not talked about it openly, and it's always hard to even initiate the conversation.



dad trembled a lot while walking along the corridor towards the oncology center, the whole experienced kinda haunted him a lot.



He met his old friends, which they looked as if they were seeing something horror, which thought to be well concealed, but dad, being the sensitive one, could easily feel the uneasiness.



People unknown to us, kept looking his way, and as if the scrutiny wasn't bad enough, they asked what disease my dad had got. some even volunteered answers like, was it stroke?was it this and that.



When i was back at home, i would walk him around the house, and just called dad, he said he was catching a film on TV, and i asked if it was nice, he said not at all. i wished i was home to walk him.



My dad, always being the extrovert, love singing, love experiencing what life has to offer, striking conversation with anyone, now it's as if dad's locked himself in his own physical body, and seem to have lost his soul.



he hasn't sang for a very long time,

he hasn't been meeting his own friends, the friends he treasures back in high school,

he hasn't been eating something that satisfies his taste buds.



i seriously feel for my dad.

i wished, things hadn't gone so wild..
i asked, what had i given my dad except the grey hairs that stand out, which he had lost it after the treatment.



he is so wasted now that, he easily curls himself up on bed, which aches my heart so much.



i seriously hope dad is calm and well=)

despite the condition, dad realises that there are lots more people who love him just the way he loves them. they have not abandoned him, instead, they care for him, and it really touches my heart for the kind people.

Y12:17 AM